Reflections

So I was walking to work one day. On that walk, I remembered that I used to write short stories. I had a good laugh in my head remembering them. Then it hit me. I was fucked up in the head. I wrote some pretty nasty shit. My stories had sex and gore. Not only that, but a common reoccurance in my stories was the vivid paragraphs of my friends getting molested/raped. I mean what the fuck?! Why would I go into detail about writing my good friends into a story, only to have them get anger fucked in the ass or partake in a forced devil's triangle. Meanwhile, me (being the awesome person) becomes the badass hero or just lets his friends get sodomized.
You can all calm down now, I don't think or write stories anymore about that stuff. But it did get me thinking about how I should start writing again. It was a care-free way of taking out my anger (vent) through creative expression. At least I think that was why there was blood, sweat, tears and semen in my story. Well...im not sure. I have forgotten a lot of things about my high school self. So yea, people are probably wondering what I am going to write. Personally, I would want to write a story with a hidden meaning in it. But we shall see.
Another thing I wanted to talk about is perception vs reality. Everyone sees themselves differently than they really are. (except me, I see myself as awesome...and i simply am) But yea, I was wondering today if I am what I really think I am. Then immidiately started thinking what would it be like if I were one of the asians living under me. It would be a carefree life. Drinking and smoking everyday, constantly around friends, girlfriend? (or really close roommate), and enjoying life.
It really got me thinking about how he lived his life. But then I realized, its not for me. I'll drink, but everyday would hurt...and be expensive. Constant friends would be annoying. No personal time. No quiet time. NO TIME TO BEAT THE MEAT! Yea, fuck that. And his girlfriend? Not that hot.
But yea, fuck that. I wouldn't want that. Everyone has their own styles, likes and dislikes. You guys should try thinking more like this. It is pretty cool. I wouldn't suggest trying to be that guy. But I bet like 17% of you are.
I think it is important to be who you are, unless it it violates the norms of society. Then I suggest you keep things quiet...probably keep those things to yourself.